


It's Not Me, It's Him

by MermaidPrincess (SariWrites)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cunnilingus, Drunk Sex, F/M, Implied Cheating, Not really V route spoilers?, Only have normal end so Im winging it, Oral Sex, V Route, Vaginal Fingering, basically just indulgent venting through writing for once in my life..., cranked out in a hour and a half, im such a zen fangirl and i appreciated him so much on v's route lol, just really supportive zen, not a song fic but that PARTICULAR song came on and it led to this, not my usual subject matter in writing BUT im in a bad mood, since i imagine nothing was concrete while V was soul searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 18:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12612376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SariWrites/pseuds/MermaidPrincess
Summary: While V is soul searching, Zen catches MC feeling a little down. Being the awesome friend he is, he takes time to cheer her up with a karaoke run. Zen learns that comforting friends with alcohol brings trouble...





	It's Not Me, It's Him

**Author's Note:**

> I gave a quick once over, just imagine this taking place later in the year even though V's route came out in Sept. (I only just completed my first run on 10/31)

It was nearly a year since V left to travel the world. The RFA had bid him farewell, each in their own way. And MC had smiled, entirely supportive of his journey to find himself.

The true Jihyun.

In the meantime the RFA went on with their lives. And she went along with them, compiling a list for future guests to contact should the next party loom on the horizon. Each member was helpful, kind, and supportive. They basked in the calmness and compassion that MC offered without fail.

And then.

Something began to unravel.

Zen entered the chat room one evening to find MC idling. She had uploaded a picture she snapped of some flowers on the edge of a pond. The light’s glare made it look a lovely shade of light blue. He recognized it as scenery from the nearby park, always forgetting her actual apartment was in a neighborhood not far from his.

 **Zen** : You’ve been to the park!

Sitting back on his couch he waited for her reply. After a few moments of waiting, he sent another message.

 **Zen** : MC?

 **MC** : ...Oh.

Another breath.

 **MC** : Yes. I took a walk today. The water was so blue I couldn’t help it…

 **Zen** : ...

 **Zen** : Are you ok? You seem a little down.

Another breath, a frown pulling at his features as he waited.

 **MC** : No, I’m fine. Just been thinking lately.

 **Zen** : Well I’m always here if you need to talk it out!

His happy emoji flashed onto the screen, he hoped his eagerness was obvious.

 **MC** : Thanks, Zen. But I don’t know if it’s something I can…

 **Zen** : …

 **Zen** : That’s ok. Maybe you need a distraction?

 **MC** : … Probably.

Instantly he rose from the couch, glancing at the time as he moved to the door and slipped his shoes on. His fingers typed around his movements to put his jacket on.

 **Zen** : One distraction coming up! I’ve got some time.

 **MC** : ??

**-Zen has left the chatroom-**

He walked briskly and with a purpose down the street. When he reached the park he cut through it, aiming for the 5 story building that loomed in the sunset on the other side. At the entrance he rang the buzzer, waiting for the intercom to come to life.

“Hello?” came MC’s curious voice through the speaker.

“It’s me!” Zen laughed at her quiet gasp. “Grab your coat and come on.”

He rocked back and forth on his heels, his hands relaxed as they nestled in the pockets of his worn leather jacket. The material had long softened over the years and felt perfectly warm against the nip in the air. When she popped out the door he smiled warmly at her, withholding comment as he glanced over her reddened and puffy eyes. It looked like she tried to use makeup to hide it, but he could still tell. With a friendly pat between her shoulder blades, he guided her down the street.

15 minutes of walking later, he turned into a karaoke bar and held the door open for MC to enter first. A quick chat and a placement of orders, the pair found themselves in a small room with a couch and a table below the small stage. MC sat on the couch first as Zen moved to check the microphone and turn on the program. It hummed to life and the screen lit up with instructions to choose your song. A woman entered the room with a tray full of drinks and snacks, beer for Zen and cocktails for MC. Of course she couldn’t help a lingering stare at Zen as he removed his leather jacket and tossed it so that it draped across the arm of the couch.

Zen turned and beamed at MC as she sensed his gaze and looked back at him from the snacks. Music started to swell and he snapped his fingers, lightly bouncing in place as a rather nonsensical song began to play. It caught her off guard enough that she snorted quietly, hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook. But all he cared about was that she smiled finally, belting out the first verse with a grin. As soon as the chorus came he whipped into action, comically dancing along as he sang and laughing into the music as she half laughed half sang with him.

It went on like that for 2 more songs, both even more silly as he pantomimed and danced along to the music. But she was smiling. When he finally took a break, his beers were sweating profusely and only half of her first cocktail was gone. They quietly snacked and drank as calm waiting music played in the background, small unconscious smiles on their faces as they relaxed in each other’s presence.

Ever since she first appeared in their chat room, Zen always trusted in her. Not once did he feel a bad vibe. Even when V was captured and Seven had to rescue them, Rika appearing in the chatroom to chip away at everyone’s sanity when she was supposed to be dead. He never lost trust in MC. His unwavering faith in her and her appreciation for his help with Yoosung always made them a bit closer than the others. Except for V.

Trustfundkid was his usual aloof self, if a bit softer towards her and her alone. Jaehee would become passionately excited when they talked, as if she were the only one she let her guard down around. But she was always so busy working. Yoosung still kept something of a wall between them, no doubt coping with everything and a bit of embarrassment for how he acted around her when Rika came up. She always told him to never apologize for his grieving though. And Seven… Seven seemed to drift away. “So much work!” he always chimed when asked about it, then raving about cardboards and chocolate milk and whatever else his enigma of a mind came up with. But on the rare times he and MC were in the same room, he would watch her. At first Zen worried he had feelings for her despite V, but his eyes seemed full of questions upon questions and MC was the only one who had the answers. He never was the same after Mint Eye exploded.

So while V was gone and the others were busy, she and him would talk late into the night. He’d ask her all sorts of questions that they were never able to get answers for before. She was his dear friend. He hated to see her unhappy.

“It’s been a year, hasn’t it?” Zen murmured. It wasn’t really a question.

He watched a drop of water slide down his beer bottle as she nodded in his peripheral. He collected his words for a moment before speaking again.

“Has he called much?”

“Just those few conversations in the chat room.” She sighed as she swirled her cocktail in the glass. “He’s called me once. Saying he was letting himself be selfish and hear my voice…”

Zen eyed the wallpaper of the room without really looking at it, embracing his friend’s ease in honesty in his presence. He turned to look at her, studying again her face as she tipped back the drink.

“Did he try to reach you today?”

Her shoulders rose and fell from her deeply she sighed, downing the rest in a gulp before answering. She was reaching for the second glass when she spoke, cutting off Zen’s suggestion to slow down.

“I tried to call him... But he didn’t pick up. I got a message 2 hours later saying He doesn’t deserve me yet… I tried to tell him… I tried…”

She huffed as her words stumbled to a halt, her frustration getting to her as her lips pressed into a tight line. Zen turned enough to gently rub her upper back, whispering comfort as she sat eerily quiet. He knew that underneath that wonderfully thoughtful understanding exterior, she was still human.

“She told me to take care of him, but how will I from way over here?”

“Ah…” Zen searched for words, knowing who _she_ meant. “I’m sure your thoughts are reaching him. He just probably didn’t trust himself to speak at the time. I’m sure he’ll call you back properly.”

She turned enough to stare at him, head still lowered enough that she was looking through her eyelashes without meaning to. Zen smiled back, patting her back with each word.

“Trust me.”

With a sigh, MC turned to the stage and rose from the couch. She held her glass under her chin, idly swirling the contents as she flipped through the program for a song. Zen downed his beer bottle, glad she wasn’t staring up at him anymore. Music pulsed, an upbeat yet somber pop song filling the room. Her singing was slightly flat somehow, hitting the notes but devoid of emotion. This wasn’t the first time he’d heard her sing, he knew she was better than this if rough around the edges.

It went on like that for a while. Sing a couple songs while the other drinks. Trade places. Trade places again. By the time he sat down for her turn, he found the room actually tilted a bit when he dropped into the seat. Time to back off. He reached for the water that was now lukewarm as she picked through the music selection. The constant “beep beep beep” paused as she scrolled and he looked up as she focused heavily on the screen. She swayed a bit as she contemplated, queuing up the selection before Zen could open his mouth.

“I like this song…” Was her quiet muse before the music started.

The sound of something like a harp filled the room, sounding much like the opening to a fairy tail. It caught him off guard as she began earnestly singing in english.

“A fall-ing star, fell from your heart. And landed in my eyes. I screamed, aloud. As it tore through them, and now has left me _blind_.”

Zen’s jaw dropped just a bit as he listened to her. It was as if MC came back to life. No longer slurring words like she a moment ago, notes pure and full of emotion. His english wasn’t the best beyond the few musicals he liked, but he desperately wished he knew what it said because it _felt important_. Not long after the first few notes he had his phone in his hands, recording every second he could get as her voice climbed and rang and nearly screamed the lyrics. When she reached a more quieter verse, her voice crooned with something like affection and… sorrow? Her hands gripped the mic so tightly as the music picked back up and she belted the words to what sounded to be the final verses as the notes swirled higher, repeating themselves.

“The Stars! The Mooon! They have all been blown out! You’ve left! Me in the Dark! _You left, Me in, the Darrrk!!_ No Dawn! No Day! I’m always in this Twilight! In the Shadow of _your_ **_HEART_ ** _!!”_

She crooned the final spoken notes, head tilting back as she sang the final note so that it started out pure but seemed to end in a shrill strangled cry. Tears leaked down from her eyes and she shivered in place, giving no reaction when Zen’s arms were instantly around her. She hiccuped quietly and whether it was from the alcohol or her sobbing he decided it was past time for her to rest.

He laid the mic back in his spot, picking up her coat and helping her arms into it. He eyed her reddened face as he quickly slipped his arms into his jacket, wrapping a leather bound arm instinctively around her shoulders as he guided her out. Making sure the bill was covered, he called a cab and quietly waited with her as she stood nestled against his side. Soon as it drove up, he helped her in first before climbing in after her and directing the driver to her building. He’d be fine walking home, but there was no way he was going to make her walk back.

At the entrance he waited as she carefully dialed her code, squinting at the keypad as she subtly swayed. She leaned against him in the elevator as he continued to protectively hold on to her. She gently nuzzled into his side as his hand gripped her shoulder. Her door was easier, Zen carefully guiding his hand to insert into the keyhole as she leaned against the wall. Her breathing was deep and even as she watched him, though still flushed in the cheeks. He took heart that she may be getting better at the least.

They made their way inside and she stumbled over the small table next to the door. Zen had to wrap his whole arm around her to snatch her back, his free hand gripping the doorframe to keep himself balanced. She quietly leaned against him, surely bracing herself as he maneuvered around the small table and closed the door. After a quick glance, he dropped her keys into the quaint little bowl that sat on top.

Carefully, he guided her to her bedroom, doing his best to hold her up as she seemed to lean more and more weight on him. Once at her bedside, he gently turned her till the edge met the back on her knees and she could sit.

He didn’t expect her to wrap her arms around his neck and take him with her.

He gasped into her neck as he felt most of his body come into contact with hers. The softness of her breasts, her arms, her hips and thighs as she squirmed under him. He pushed up with his hands braced just under her shoulders but she came up with him, clinging. Her eyes were hooded, her lips parted as she stared up at him.

“ _Zen_ ,” she sighed with a breath.

Alarm bells went off in his head as he stared deep into her eyes. Quickly he fumbled his phone out of his pocket, nearly slinging it as her leg rose and wrapped around his hips. The bare skin of her thigh shocked him as he skirt rode up. But then she was kissing him and it was so hard to concentrate. Leaning back down he pressed her back against the mattress, nearly forgetting to grip her shoulder with his spare hand as she moaned shamelessly into his mouth. He tried to focus on unlocking his phone without looking.

“You’re like fire…”

Zen paused as he stared down at her again. Her eyes were glistening again with unshed tears and her voice was rough. Not from singing so much.

“It’s like I was lost in the dark… But your fire… Is so warm. Zen-”

“I can’t! We shouldn’t even-”

“Zen, _please_ …”

Fuck that sounded good.

The beast inside him writhed even as his fingers frantically swiped at his phone. The sudden glow informed him of his sucess and he desperately searched through his contacts. _Anyone. ANYBODY. Even Jumin._ He needed help in a bad way. He shivered as she began kissing along his jaw towards his neck. He knew he needed to move, pull away. But the combination of alcohol and lack of blood in the northern hemisphere of his body made him feel so weak. And she was gorgeous, always. Inside and out. He wondered if he knew more about her than even V did. Her job, the side job, her family, her dreams… He was blind to whoever he hit the call button on, moaning out loud at the sudden pull of her fingers being between the rubber band of his ponytail and his scalp. Her teeth were gently scraping against his throat, wet tongue laving at the spot in between nibbles. He was deaf to the quiet trill of a call seeking the other end.

“MC please, I’m not- _Oh god._ ” She was grinding against his hips as she whimpered in his ear.

He pulled as far away as her arms would allow without hurting her grip.

“Please, Zen, I need-”

“Not me! You want-”

“ _You_.”

Zen fell quiet as she panted in the dark. Her eyes slid closed as she held back a sob, tears rolling down her face. Her voice sounded broken, as if she reached her limit.

“ _Zen, please._ ”

She opened her eyes to burning red ones, determination shining fierce in their depths.

V wasn’t there.

But he is.

He dropped down and enveloped her in a searing kiss, nipping her lower lip as she gave a cry of pure relief. He kissed along her jaw, ravished her throat as she moaned without a care. His hands fully opened er jacket, pushing up her shirt and he relished in the cries she let out as he pinched her nipples through her bra. Without looking he pushed it all up to her neck and lowered his lips to the exposed flesh. He felt every goosebump against his lips, every crease of her nipple as he lapped against it and sucked it into his mouth. He grinded back against her as she arched and squirmed, calling his name and whimpering from his touch.

He moved further down her body as he slid out of his jacket, his drunken mind picking up that something was amiss, something he forgot. But her light giggle pushed the thought away as his fingers ghosted along her sides. He pressed them against her firmer, watching her squirm before pulling her panties don’t without a care. There was no warning when he buried his face between her thighs, deliriously high on the scent of her coursing through his inebriated blood. He wanted more. He needed to taste every inch of her.

He needed her to smile again.

The beast rose in him, savage as he tasted her beyond his fill. His tongue explored within her deeply, tracing her dripping outer folds, caressing her clit with the flat of his tongue even when he wrapped his lips around it. He vaguely heard her cry when she came the first time. He laved at her even more, running his tongue from bottom to top as if he couldn’t get enough of her, pressing his fingers in and starting his lap along them when they pulled out of her to taste even more of her juices. She bucked and squirmed and whimpered and moaned and when he curled his fingers within her he was nearly deaf to her scream as her thighs clamped shut around his ears. His moans were muffled against her swollen flesh, eyes glinting as he stared up her body past her heaving chest. She made a noise with every twitch of an aftershock or lick from Zen as he continued to massage her walls with his fingers. It wasn’t until she began clenching heavily around them again that she weakly separated him with a tug on his hair and a hand sliding over her core.

He sat up and stared down at her wrecked figure. The sheets were bunched in a mess on either side of her body, she was sweating so hard that drops were running between her breasts to slide down the sides of her body. Her hair was strewn in every direction, whatever still in was in ruined by her thrashing. Her skirt was bunched around her hips and pinned oddly around her from the way she twisted. Her eyes were wide, lips reddened and parted with each breath.

She was beautiful.

And she wasn’t for him.

He pulled away, standing up without bothering to hide his obvious erection.

“I’m sorry MC.”

She stared at him for a long moment before closing her eyes and sighing.

“N-no. **I** should be sorry. I… shouldn’t have…”

“It’s ok,” Zen said, smiling even as she gave him a silent look of doubt. “I should go.”

Picking up his phone, he made a quick stop at her bathroom to wipe his chin. Once out of her apartment, he leaned against the wall of the hallway in a struggle to gather his wits. The glow of his phone reminded him of his, rather futile, quest to get some help. Seemed Jaehee’s worries had some kind of merit to them.

It was then he noticed his call connected. And they hung up.

It lasted for 45 minutes.

*

 **V** : Oh, Zen. You’re awake.

 **Zen** : Yeah, I just finished jogging.

 **V** : … This late at night?

 **Zen** : Yeah. Hey, listen…

 **V** : Yes?

 **Zen** : You should call MC more. She… I think she really misses you.

 **V** : Oh.

 **Zen** : I mean, to be blunt, I know you’re going through your “betterment” period… But a part of that is being good at communication. She could really use a call here and there.

 **V** : …

 **V** : Thank you, Zen. I’ll call her soon.

 **V** : MC, when you read this, I’m sorry. I’ll do better.

**-Zen has left the chatroom-**

**V** : …

**-V has left the chatroom-**

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I'm not sure WHO was on the other end of the phone call. But I know certain people won't be able to look him in the eye for a while...  
> Song: Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM  
> I'll probably fix the fic up later...


End file.
